Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
