did you get engaged???
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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