Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
