She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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