i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
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All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
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I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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