Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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