I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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