a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize