i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
