Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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