i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
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I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
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Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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