Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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