His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
