Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
