Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
