just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
