1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
