Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
