Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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