At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
