His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
