I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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