rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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