i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
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I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
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He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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