Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
that's an acceptable place to lick
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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