Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
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I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
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How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
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