I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
