I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
