Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
