So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
