we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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