At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
i've created a new STD.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
All I want is dick and wine.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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