I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
