Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
