i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i want to swaddle you in tequila
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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