I smell stomach acid.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
