How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
