rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
not ubering you a puppy
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
