idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
