Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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