I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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