the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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