you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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