ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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