you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
