he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
