I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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