everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
