someone threw a dead crab at me
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
