I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize