is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
