just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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