So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
