Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
