And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize