Soap is not a condiment
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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